Self-Care Is Not a Luxury Item: 3 Truths About Self-Care

The other day, I heard me tell myself that if I got the laundry done, the kitchen cleaned, and vacuumed the living room and dining room floor, then I would reward myself by going to my favorite class at the gym. In that moment, it was like a light bulb turned on in my head. I couldn’t believe that I was going to “reward” myself by doing something for myself that should be as important, if not more important, than the pesky items on my never ending to do list. Am I the only one who does this…make stipulations on my own self-care?

“Am I the only one who does this…make stipulations on my own self-care? ”

• “If I go to the gym 3 times this week, then I’ll reward myself with a pedicure”

• “If I clean the kitchen, then I’ll reward myself with a nap”

• “If I complete the mountain of laundry, then I’ll take a bubble bath”

• “If I wash Parker’s hair, then I’ll give myself permission to watch my favorite TV show”

• “If I drink 100 oz of water every day this week, then I’ll go get a massage”

Self-care looks differently for everyone, but you know what doesn’t…the fact that it is a necessity for everyone. Here are 3 Truths About Self-Care that I have learned in my self-love journey.

Self-Care is Not Selfish

Being a mom is rewarding, but let’s face it, it’s HARD! It’s so easy to put caring for our families before caring for ourselves. When we do, it results in resentment and burn out. I remember looking at a picture of myself at a work event about a year after I had my son and thinking, WTF?! When did I start looking like that? I literally barely recognized myself from my un-styled hair, to my ill-fitting clothes, to my tired, weary eyes. Even amid my disappointment, I didn’t make self-care a priority. It took me getting to the point of pure disgust in myself for me to have the realization that I was worthy for self-care. The idea that you can’t pour from an empty cup is legit the truth. It’s easier to give love and compassion to others (ie. Our kiddos and boo thangs) when we give it to ourselves.

Self-care doesn’t have to be luxurious

“I have a quote on my 2020 vision board that says, “self-care is about deciding what is important to you, and prioritizing time for it”.

I used to believe that acts of self-care included lengthy and luxurious spa days (even though I do absolutely love spa days) or weekend trips away from home with my girlfriends. While those are some examples of self-care, I’m here to remind you that self-care doesn’t have to time consuming or expensive. Let’s face it, our schedules are already packed which is why it’s so easy to put self-care on the back burner. The amazing thing about self-care is that it’s “personalizeable” Yea, I just made up a word, Ha! But seriously, you get to decide what it looks like for you. I have a quote on my 2020 vision board that says, “self-care is about deciding what is important to you, and prioritizing time for it”. It seems so simple, doesn’t it? (Must’ve been written by a man) But it really is just that easy! For me, my health and fitness are important. In order to prioritize time for it, I found a gym with childcare AND classes, because I need both! Then tried classes until I found 2 that I liked and fit within my schedule. I can always tell when I’m getting off balanced because I start missing classes and making excuses why I don’t have time or can’t go. In the end, I always feel crumby because I stopped making myself a priority.

Self-care is not something you earn

One evening, I was “venting” aka whining to “Lover” about not completing everything on my full-page, college-ruled notebook length to-do list for that day and not having time to get my nails done because of it. His response, “See, babe, you put way too much on your to do list. That’s why I only pick 1-2 items per day that absolutely have to be done so I can always end the day with a win.” Triggered is the only way to describe my range of emotions. First I was intrigued, then pissed (because some of my items are the run off from his “honey do list”), and finally, I resolved that the over achiever in me wouldn’t be happy with a 2 item per day to-do list; however, I could definitely scale back on my daily laundry lists so that there was enough time (and energy) left in the day for some “me time”.

Below are some of my favorite, easy and free self-care ideas:

• Take a nap (even 30 minutes makes a difference)

• Take a bath (with the door shut because let’s face it, when was the last time you pooped in peace)

• Have a cup of tea or coffee (while it’s still hot…or at least warm…baby steps)

• Write in your journal (you’re your own best audience and favorite artist)

• Go on a walk (exercise + fresh air = a winning combination)

• Blast your favorite song and dance it out (kids are invited to this one)

• Eat a healthy snack like a smoothie packed with fruit and veggies (feels so good going down!)

• Read a chapter or 2 of a book (you know, the one that’s been sitting on your nightstand for months)

In the end, as moms, we must prioritize our well being because there is no replacing you. It doesn’t have to time consuming or expensive or fancy. It’s not something you earn, because NEWS FLASH! You deserve to be well taken care of. Each of us are at different stages of our “mommyhood” journey, but one thing is for sure, you set the tone for how your little ones, regardless of age or sex, treat themselves and others. So, give yourself with the same love, kindness, and compassion that you give others because you are worthy of self-care.